I am a widow, I am alone, I have no one to talk with, I have
no one to share my joy, my sorrows, my hopes, my work, my food, my – everything.
I have no one to kiss good morning or kiss good night. So, I
kiss my cat instead!
My husband and I, years prior to his ascension had told me,
he did not want me to be alone if I was going to be the one left behind. He
even suggested a few names of friends of ours who were singles.
When we found out that he was very sick – he reminded me of
that. He was so concerned about me. He loved me, beyond himself. He loves me
today, still.
A year after his departure – I considered the possibility of
welcoming someone in my life, but the idea did not last more than just a few
days. In the past 10 years I have grown a lot, spiritually, Why? Because I am
alone. I would not be able to share my life today, intimately with another
husband.
I am alone, therefore, I have more time for myself. I found
myself, in the prayer room much longer – reading, thinking, singing, praying. I
have time. I have no one else to care for or to worry about. I am alone.
As a mother and a wife, I was the last one to go to bed, I
could not fall asleep until I knew that “my brood” was safely tuck in bed, and
that included my husband.
Today, I am the first, and the last to go to bed. I am
alone.
Blessed widows and widowers need give and take, need
companionship, need a kiss on the head once in a while. Some of us may be able
to function, alone, but many may not. For the sake of spiritual and physical
lives blessed widows and widowers need to be allowed to find each other. So,
that, together, they can keep growing and become the Godly individuals that Heavenly
Parent wants us to become.
PS: 6 months after the departure of my husband, I invited a
couple to move in with me, they were there for almost 9 years. We live together
as true friends and helped and served each other. I am so grateful for them
being with me. Soon, I will be moving with my daughter and son in law. I am
soon to be 72 years old.