Why should we not judge or/and criticize?
My own testimony can help explain what I mean.
Not too long ago, I was told that I am a very competitive person, that I like to win. As soon as I heard this, my whole being rejected the statement, because I know deep in my heart that it is incorrect.
I do not appreciate any sports where teams or individuals are facing each other and only one is going to receive the honor and the privilege to win. I do not like the fact that the efforts of all the other teams or participants are ignored and dismiss as if they had never been there. I do not like the hurt that the "losers" feel. I like the kind of sport where the individual competes with himself or herself - but otherwise - competition for me, at this time in our history, is truly not good.
Someday, it will be different - every one - will be on the stage and everyone will be honored, respected, appreciated, and celebrated, even the person or the team who came last, for the effort that were made.
So, to come back to my competitiveness, no, I don't compete and I don't even try to. I do the same with arguments. I don't argue. If someone is strongly arguing about something, I do not participate in the discussion. I am certain about my own opinion and do not feel the need to defend it, so I don't argue, I just wait. When I write something and publish it, like this paper for example. I am doing it because I believe I have something to offer. But it is not my job to convince the reader to agree with me. It is my responsibility to share, and it is the responsibility of the reader to ponder about it and do his or her own research.
My central figure once told me, Anne-Marie, you are always “very sure” about what you say. Yes, I am, but I am not stubborn and I have updated my own opinions quite a few times due to the input of someone else.
Just a few days ago, I was reflecting, once again, about the statement of my supposed “competitiveness” and how wrong it was, even though the people who were very adamant about it do know me very well. So, I reflected on my own opinion about the people I care, love, and know, I became aware that I, too, have to apply the same careful thoughts about what I think of them, because what I have deduce about their personality may very well be wrong.
With gratitude, always,