Saturday, September 4, 2021

What is the difference between being upset or being angry?

A couple of days ago, I was talking on the phone with my daughter. I was speaking intensely as I sometimes do. She said to me that I was angry, and she started to talk louder too. I responded, no I am not, but she said, yes you are angry.

I, then, proceeded by lowering my tone of voice, became calmer. We continued talking for sometimes. I like talking to my daughter. There is nothing superficial about her. Her arguments are sound and worth listening to.
Then, at some point, I came back to the word “angry”. And, I realized that, truly, I was not angry, I was upset. Then the following explanation came to me and I expressed it to her.

Someone is angry at someone they dislike or even hate.
Someone is upset at someone they love and care about.

The physical manifestation of these two different feelings is the same. The tone of voice gets louder, and the words used get more pointed. Tears will flow. But the heart has a completely different purpose and direction.

With gratitude,

Dictionary definition of the two words:
Definition of the word “upset”: make (someone) unhappy, disappointed, or worried.
Definition of the word “angry”: feeling or showing strong annoyance, displeasure, or hostility; full of anger.

Wednesday, August 4, 2021

How to keep a critical mind without judgment – A small testimony.

A critical mind was design by our Heavenly Parent to make sure we are able to distinguish good from bad and also to be able to create. Without a critical mind we cannot create. A critical mind in conjunction with creativity and curiosity allows us to learn and accomplish many things, it was never meant to bring judgment towards someone else.

Why should we not judge or/and criticize?
My own testimony can help explain what I mean.

Not too long ago, I was told that I am a very competitive person, that I like to win. As soon as I heard this, my whole being rejected the statement, because I know deep in my heart that it is incorrect.

I do not appreciate any sports where teams or individuals are facing each other and only one is going to receive the honor and the privilege to win. I do not like the fact that the efforts of all the other teams or participants are ignored and dismiss as if they had never been there. I do not like the hurt that the "losers" feel. I like the kind of sport where the individual competes with himself or herself - but otherwise - competition for me, at this time in our history, is truly not good.
Someday, it will be different - every one - will be on the stage and everyone will be honored, respected, appreciated, and celebrated, even the person or the team who came last, for the effort that were made.

So, to come back to my competitiveness, no, I don't compete and I don't even try to. I do the same with arguments. I don't argue. If someone is strongly arguing about something, I do not participate in the discussion. I am certain about my own opinion and do not feel the need to defend it, so I don't argue, I just wait. When I write something and publish it, like this paper for example. I am doing it because I believe I have something to offer. But it is not my job to convince the reader to agree with me. It is my responsibility to share, and it is the responsibility of the reader to ponder about it and do his or her own research.

My central figure once told me, Anne-Marie, you are always “very sure” about what you say. Yes, I am, but I am not stubborn and I have updated my own opinions quite a few times due to the input of someone else.

Just a few days ago, I was reflecting, once again, about the statement of my supposed “competitiveness” and how wrong it was, even though the people who were very adamant about it do know me very well. So, I reflected on my own opinion about the people I care, love, and know, I became aware that I, too, have to apply the same careful thoughts about what I think of them, because what I have deduce about their personality may very well be wrong.

With gratitude, always,

Saturday, July 3, 2021

Why do I listen to Dr. Yong?

Why do I come back every morning and pay attention to what he says?
Is it because I am scared not to go to Heaven if I don't? No
Is it because he says that I must? No

I started Morning Devotion out of respect toward a new central figure who had just come from Asia. He wanted to speak to us and I thought that was a good idea, so that he and us could know each other very quickly.

Within days, I was writing this about Dr. Yong?
Every day I listened to Dr. Yong, and after a little while, I realized that my eyes are wet. Quiet tears I did not know were there. I am so grateful for his teaching. It is my first time to experience a Korean Teacher speaking English so well. He can communicate his whole being to an English-speaking audience. This is truly God’s gift to America.  
It is my wish that we, as American members can pay attention to the words that are taught to us by God through Dr. Yong. I am proud of him and his ability to teach and reach our heart and soul.
More than 7 months later, I still think the same.
If we stop someone on the street or anywhere for that matter, someone we do not know and asked them the following question, “What is the purpose of human existence? What are you trying to accomplish with your personal life?” What kind of answers would we get?

We can cypher through millions of answers, but the result would come down to a few sentences. We all want a sense of fulfillment that brings respect, love, and joy. However, many of these millions of people will not reach that fulfillment in their life time on earth for one simple reason. They think it is up to them alone to make that happen, and that is where we go wrong.

We are all dependent on the environment surrounding us, and I am not just talking physical, but also mental, emotional, spiritual, and sexual. Our lives, like it or not, are intertwined and if one believes that it is only with their strong will and might that they will accomplish what they want, they will, in the end, lose.

We are the owner of our happiness, but it important to understand that to get it we do need the input of many – their advice, their love, their guidance, their warning.

So back to Dr. Yong. Is he perfect? I don’t know and I don’t care. It is not my job to judge him, but I think it is my responsibility to try to understand what he has to say. It is up to me to feed my soul.

July 3rd, 2021

Tuesday, March 30, 2021

East and West - Our Lives

 Please bear in mind that this is a timed piece. 1969.

Dear beloved Brothers and Sisters,

Learning to appreciate our cultural differences is going to take us beyond our earthly life. Below is a segment of a testimony by a lady during her missionary life in a state in America in the early years.

At one of these conferences there was a church holiday and Pres. Young Whi Kim asked me to organize the state leaders into a skit as part of the entertainment. We decided to do a comedy review of our experiences with Father on the speaking tour. In one of our scenes, one beefy member by the name of Gil and the diminutive Helen Chin Alexander did a hilarious imitation of Mrs. Choi translating for Father. They spoofed how Father would say strong things in a strong way and then Mrs. Choi would translate it all in a soft, feminine way. The skit was a hit, indeed hilarious, and Father and Mother were rolling in the aisles. Later, Pres. Kim told me in the nicest way that one does not do spoofs of the Messiah. Of course. I was mortified. Just like True Parents to absorb our ignorance with a big heart.

I disagree with the conclusion. True Parents did not have to absorb the ignorance of one of their children. True Parents enjoy the skit, plain and simple. We have much to learn from our Eastern brothers and sisters, but so do they from the Western world. Our freedom of expression is part of God’s plan to spread joy and love.

I have said many times in the past that a joke is only acceptable when both parties enjoy it, and no one feels put down or mock. I believe that True Parents during this moment of laughter due to the skit actually gave them the vitality to continue their so demanding and difficult mission.