A couple of days ago, I was talking on the phone with my daughter. I was speaking intensely as I sometimes do. She said to me that I was angry, and she started to talk louder too. I responded, no I am not, but she said, yes you are angry.
I, then, proceeded by lowering my tone of voice, became calmer. We continued talking for sometimes. I like talking to my daughter. There is nothing superficial about her. Her arguments are sound and worth listening to.
Then, at some point, I came back to the word “angry”. And, I realized that, truly, I was not angry, I was upset. Then the following explanation came to me and I expressed it to her.
Someone is angry at someone they dislike or even hate.
Someone is upset at someone they love and care about.
The physical manifestation of these two different feelings is the same. The tone of voice gets louder, and the words used get more pointed. Tears will flow. But the heart has a completely different purpose and direction.
Dictionary definition of the two words:
Definition of the word “upset”: make (someone) unhappy, disappointed, or worried.
Definition of the word “angry”: feeling or showing strong annoyance, displeasure, or hostility; full of anger.