How to keep a critical mind without judgment – A small testimony.

A critical mind was design by our Heavenly Parent to make sure we are able to distinguish good from bad and also to be able to create. Without a critical mind we cannot create. A critical mind in conjunction with creativity and curiosity allows us to learn and accomplish many things, it was never meant to bring judgment towards someone else.

Why should we not judge or/and criticize?
My own testimony can help explain what I mean.

Not too long ago, I was told that I am a very competitive person, that I like to win. As soon as I heard this, my whole being rejected the statement, because I know deep in my heart that it is incorrect.

I do not appreciate any sports where teams or individuals are facing each other and only one is going to receive the honor and the privilege to win. I do not like the fact that the efforts of all the other teams or participants are ignored and dismiss as if they had never been there. I do not like the hurt that the "losers" feel. I like the kind of sport where the individual competes with himself or herself - but otherwise - competition for me, at this time in our history, is truly not good.
Someday, it will be different - every one - will be on the stage and everyone will be honored, respected, appreciated, and celebrated, even the person or the team who came last, for the effort that were made.

So, to come back to my competitiveness, no, I don't compete and I don't even try to. I do the same with arguments. I don't argue. If someone is strongly arguing about something, I do not participate in the discussion. I am certain about my own opinion and do not feel the need to defend it, so I don't argue, I just wait. When I write something and publish it, like this paper for example. I am doing it because I believe I have something to offer. But it is not my job to convince the reader to agree with me. It is my responsibility to share, and it is the responsibility of the reader to ponder about it and do his or her own research.

My central figure once told me, Anne-Marie, you are always “very sure” about what you say. Yes, I am, but I am not stubborn and I have updated my own opinions quite a few times due to the input of someone else.

Just a few days ago, I was reflecting, once again, about the statement of my supposed “competitiveness” and how wrong it was, even though the people who were very adamant about it do know me very well. So, I reflected on my own opinion about the people I care, love, and know, I became aware that I, too, have to apply the same careful thoughts about what I think of them, because what I have deduce about their personality may very well be wrong.

With gratitude, always,
Anne-Marie

Why do I listen to Dr. Yong?

Why do I come back every morning and pay attention to what he says?
Is it because I am scared not to go to Heaven if I don't? No
Is it because he says that I must? No

I started Morning Devotion out of respect toward a new central figure who had just come from Asia. He wanted to speak to us and I thought that was a good idea, so that he and us could know each other very quickly.

Within days, I was writing this about Dr. Yong?

Every day I listened to Dr. Yong, and after a little while, I realized that my eyes are wet. Quiet tears I did not know were there. I am so grateful for his teaching. It is my first time to experience a Korean Teacher speaking English so well. He can communicate his whole being to an English-speaking audience. This is truly God’s gift to America.  
It is my wish that we, as American members can pay attention to the words that are taught to us by God through Dr. Yong. I am proud of him and his ability to teach and reach our heart and soul.
More than 7 months later, I still think the same.

If we stop someone on the street or anywhere for that matter, someone we do not know and asked them the following question, “What is the purpose of human existence? What are you trying to accomplish with your personal life?” What kind of answers would we get?

We can cypher through millions of answers, but the result would come down to a few sentences. We all want a sense of fulfillment that brings respect, love, and joy. However, many of these millions of people will not reach that fulfillment in their life time on earth for one simple reason. They think it is up to them alone to make that happen, and that is where we go wrong.

We are all dependent on the environment surrounding us, and I am not just talking physical, but also mental, emotional, spiritual, and sexual. Our lives, like it or not, are intertwined and if one believes that it is only with their strong will and might that they will accomplish what they want, they will, in the end, lose.

We are the owner of our happiness, but it important to understand that to get it we do need the input of many – their advice, their love, their guidance, their warning.

So back to Dr. Yong. Is he perfect? I don’t know and I don’t care. It is not my job to judge him, but I think it is my responsibility to try to understand what he has to say. It is up to me to feed my soul.

July 3rd, 2021

East and West - Our Lives

 Please bear in mind that this is a timed piece. 1969.

Dear beloved Brothers and Sisters,

Learning to appreciate our cultural differences is going to take us beyond our earthly life. Below is a segment of a testimony by a lady during her missionary life in a state in America in the early years.

At one of these conferences there was a church holiday and Pres. Young Whi Kim asked me to organize the state leaders into a skit as part of the entertainment. We decided to do a comedy review of our experiences with Father on the speaking tour. In one of our scenes, one beefy member by the name of Gil and the diminutive Helen Chin Alexander did a hilarious imitation of Mrs. Choi translating for Father. They spoofed how Father would say strong things in a strong way and then Mrs. Choi would translate it all in a soft, feminine way. The skit was a hit, indeed hilarious, and Father and Mother were rolling in the aisles. Later, Pres. Kim told me in the nicest way that one does not do spoofs of the Messiah. Of course. I was mortified. Just like True Parents to absorb our ignorance with a big heart.

I disagree with the conclusion. True Parents did not have to absorb the ignorance of one of their children. True Parents enjoy the skit, plain and simple. We have much to learn from our Eastern brothers and sisters, but so do they from the Western world. Our freedom of expression is part of God’s plan to spread joy and love.

I have said many times in the past that a joke is only acceptable when both parties enjoy it, and no one feels put down or mock. I believe that True Parents during this moment of laughter due to the skit actually gave them the vitality to continue their so demanding and difficult mission.

 

 

What does reconciliation means to me?

 What does reconciliation means to me:

Reconciliation is liberation

1) Understand the hurt created due to ignorance
2) Recognized the hurt created voluntarily towards others
3) Recognized the ignorance that I have about all the other cultures
3) Ability to ask for forgiveness
4) Ability to recognized the value of others
5) Ability to respect others cultures and background
6) Ability to learn from individuals who are very different than me, in culture and traditions
7) Ability to recognized that all humanity is a single family, under one Heavenly Parent

Dec 2020 

 

Attitude towards the Marriage Blessing

 

 Dear Brothers and Sisters,

You are pioneers. You are setting the path for future generations. I am talking about the way we are trying to find our Heavenly Spouse. As you may have heard from me before, being matched and blessed when True Parents were doing so, was a matter of great faith in God and in them, and we did it with great expecting hearts.

Today it is different, faith needs be there for sure but not only in Heavenly Parent, it has to be there in ourselves. We need to be able to understand that Heavenly Parent trust us to do the right thing, so we must also trust ourselves.

Why are you pioneers? Because you are among the first group of individuals who must do so. In the future, it will become a norm but today, it takes diligence and plenty of courage to prepare oneself to be a spouse and find the Heavenly Spouse.

True Father once explained that not just one person can be our Heavenly Spouse, so do not think that there is only one individual among all, that is for you. There are more than one.

So, finding the one has nothing to do with finding a needle in a haystack, but everything to do with how we prepare ourselves to be a spouse and the motivation being it all. Are you willing to do the work, external and internal, both, not just one or the other?

What are the external:

• Fulfilling the requirements to be a Matching Candidate
• Create and update on a regular basis a good profile – A profile needs to reflect your heart and soul – take the time, do it well and post it on all platforms available.

What are the internal:

• An attitude of devotion
• Sincere prayers, and clear understanding of the preciousness of the Blessing
• A good understanding of the teaching of our True Parents
  

There are three events in our life that are most important: Our Birth, our Marriage-Blessing, our Death
It took 9 months and painful delivery for us to be born. It can take many months and a lot of difficulties for someone to enter the spiritual world. So, what about the Marriage-Blessing? Be the heroes of our time, show the future generations that finding our own Heavenly Spouse is a most beautiful task that True Parents have entrusted to us.

December 23, 2020

 

How to understand spiritual teaching.

•    God’s language is not Korean, English, or Japanese. God’s language is heartl (heart and love).
•    Every language has limitation to reach someone who was raised with a different language.
•    Therefore, how do we listen to spiritual education? (i.e. the one we received from True Parents, Dr. Yong, or any other teachers?)
•    By paying attention with our original heart, no other way.

How do we listen with our original heart?

1.    Respect – The teacher is trying to convey something
2.    Patience – We will not understand today, but at some point, we will.
3.    Trust – Trusting ourselves and our Heavenly Parent’s relationship with “I” is necessary.

Example

Personal (Anne-Marie Mylar) experience with True Father’s words and ladies’ make-up

Belvedere between 1974 and 1979

TF told us, the ladies, that we should not make up or have beautiful clothes or even take the time to shower. It was not important.

Two weeks later

TF told us, the ladies, that we should always be very presentable. Take the time to put on make-up and have nice clothes.

If you were the person who heard only the 1st time and missed the talk two weeks later, what would you do? Was TF wrong the first time? And corrected himself? No, he was not. It is not what we do that matters most. It is with which motivation do we do or not do something. Father’s was right, both times. It is up to us to go beyond the words and understand the heart of God.

 

 

Dr. Chung Sik Yong - Belvedere November 2020

Generation...Generation...Generation...

From the beginning of time, the gaps between each generation (about 30 years each) have been difficult to handle because each generation thinks, “We know better.”

I have reflected a lot on this, as I could not avoid the conflict between myself and my daughter. The conflict was not that bad but necessary because each of us made efforts to understand one another due to the simple reason that we deeply care and love each other.

Today, I would not call it an actual conflict, but there are times when each of us feels “something” is there.  That "something" reminds us both that we do belong to different generations where the other cannot live. What does that mean? It means that we simply need to respect each other’s generation and recognize the differences between them. And…these differences are good!

Why? The simple fact that none of us, young and old alike, can replicate a past generation shows that we are not robots but human beings, and unique. If we had simply repeated the lives of our ancestors, we would still be living in the Stone Age.

How do we handle the differences so that all of us are comfortable with our various inter-generational relationships? Well, respect and trust in one another will help. I do not mention “love” on purpose because too many of us are still learning what “love” is all about. But one thing I believe is, "love" starts with respect and trust in one another.

 “Mom…Trust me. Just trust me!” the desperate cry of my daughter I heard not just once but multiple times during her early adult years, still rings in my ears. I made an effort to pay attention, and one day I understood. I cannot explain to any of you how it happened because I do not remember, but one day the subject line of an email I sent to her read, “I got it.”

I got it! I finally was able to trust my daughter without fear of an impending disaster.  I think it came because I also decided to trust God. Easy to say, but not easy to do. Respect and trust must go both ways, so this would be my advice to the young generations:

Do not dismiss what the old people say. Listen to them; pay attention, for they have plenty of wisdom. Only after patiently understanding what they are saying will you have the ability to change the things you want to change and  really improve them. There are no shortcuts in life; we must learn from the past if we do not want to stay in the past.

And to the “old folks” like me, I would say:

Do not dismiss what the young people say. Listen to them; pay attention, for they have plenty of energy and ideas that need your wisdom. But if you do not listen and respect them, they will not be able to hear you. You do not really want the next generations to repeat your life and do things the way you did. They cannot. They are not re-living our history they are building theirs. But our successors will succeed faster if we are able to listen to them. And when they feel our respect, they will want to listen to us.